Please me? Please u? Please who...?
Many ppl in my lives....no matter who they are..a passerby,a good fren, best fren, hi-bye fren, those who help me, those who fail me.... one thing they are in common, they've taught me. Taught me many things in life, i see things.. bad,good,warmth,cold, and i experienced them my own. Life has no meaning without these ppl. They hv their roles. some make me fall hard, the others help me up, support me till i stand up firm again.Each one of them, has their own stories.... They shared with me, we cried,we mourned, and we gone thru it together. and i learnt from their stories.
I used to make knots in my head...a lot of complicated knots.. hard to untie it sumtimes....they make things clear in me.. help me bring back my sense, my feeling, my rational thinking. Though most of the time..feeling for me are nvr in-line with rational. But i thank them for taking me out.
After all these years, i've noe the right path to choose. People fail me and i noe i should giv up the old way, should no longer be stuborn to protest it...coz i can see... it does not worth a single cent. All that i am gonna do ..is to stick to the right one now. It's jst like seeing a dim light in the dark...and it becomes brighter and brighter until it fills u... ur life~
Throunghout my life...i hv been pleasing ppl....pleasing all the one whom i care, whom i dunwan to find fault with, whom i hv responisble to, whom ... whom... even a stranger tat i would please. I would nvr say 'No' to ppl. It is jst a sicking trait that i actually need approval, affiliation and feeling of belongingness from all these ppl.
WHY? why must i? why must i do all this to please ppl in the other hand might hurt myself so much? or simply jst not doin wat i want or feel like? or even contradict to my conscience and belief? No...i am saying NO ... no more like that... jst.. no more..
i will want to speak out when things are going over my limit. when the time i couldn't endure anymore. when it is jst out of control.
I am sorry ..but i jst can't take it anymore... i hv my own requirement..why should i please all of u and i get nth but wound, scar?????
The only person i would please with whole heart and with no condition, are my parent and GOD. They gave us our lives, they are the guidance for us. They would nvr hurt us, they love us unconditionally. My parent gave me eevrything that i need and want, i won't be having such a colorful life without them. and GOD is with me all the time giving me strength and guidance. and THEY would be the person that i wish to please. In doin every decision... their decision would be mine. i wont allow myself to do anything disgraceful and harm their name n reputation.
This is all that i'll do.
As for the rest, i will still love them with all my heart.
but i am here to learn to loosen my knot. so it will be easier to let go, to 'dun mind' and thus lower the frequency of mood swinging. ;)
talking abt that...really wanna thank my frenzz for enduring my frequent mood swinging recently.still sayang me as usual... i really appreciate that.. will do my best to control it..this is a promise.
I love you all~ and may peace be with you~
posted by *LinLin* @ 12:07 PM
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